Areas of Unrest

16 June 2000 - Anatomy of a Business Trip

QOTD: "All great civilizations have been based on loitering." - Jean Renoir

Reading: Rebecca Rothenberg, The Shy Tulip Murders

Listening to: Snakefarm, Songs From My Funeral

Monday, 4:37 a.m.: Alarm clock goes off. Crawl out of bed, put backpack on bed and start pulling clothes out of drawers. Pack everything except clothes for today. Forget to pack alarm clock. Spend next three days worrying that my neighbors will be annoyed at me because the bloody alarm will go off at this ungodly hour each day.

Monday, 5:07 a.m.: Shower. After drying off, get dressed. Stare into space blankly until time to leave apartment.

Monday, 5:32 a.m.: Leave apartment. Lock deadbolt. Check several times that door is really locked. Put backpack and briefcase in trunk of car. Get in car and drive to off-airport parking lot adjacent to LAX.

Monday, 5:57 a.m.: Park car. Take shuttle bus to terminal. Wait interminably to go through security because there is inevitably some idiot who is unfamiliar with the notion that metal detectors detect metal and that, therefore, one should put all one's keys and coins in the little basket the first time around, instead of one penny at a time.

Monday, 6:13 a.m.: Check in for flight. Read newspapers while waiting to board. Discover interesting article in the Wall Street Journal about Internet privacy. The article is fine up until the point where it talks about the evils of pseudonyms, citing the suspected murderer of five women in Kansas and Missouri who is alleged to have met his victims in a chat room. Contemplate writing a letter to the editor pointing out that women who were willing to meet a man who used the pseudonym, "slavemaster", might have been looking for certain unconventional experiences and that the nature of his pseudonym would have raised a bigger red flag for most women than his real name might have. Decide that writing a letter to the editor is too much trouble so jot a note in my organizer to mention it here.

Monday, 6:46 a.m.: Board plane. Finish reading newspaper. Start reading airline magazine.

Monday, 7:11 a.m.: On time departure. Finish magazine. During rest of flight, alternate between napping and reading novel.

Monday, 9:30 a.m./10:30 a.m.: Arrive in Denver. Change watch to reflect new time zone. Take train to main terminal and board car rental bus. Discover reservation is not in computer for express service.

Monday, 11:13 a.m.: Succeed in getting rental car contract from people in express booth. Discover car is monstrously huge Chevy Impala, which would more accurately be named a Chevy Wildebeest. Fuss around adjusting seat and mirrors. Finally, leave lot and drive to Boulder, via I-70, I-270 and US-36. Discover that construction on 36 is still ongoing and wonder what they are doing that is taking them 11 years.

Monday, 12:12 p.m.: In moment of brilliance, realize that contractor will be on lunch break. Decide to get decent lunch instead of eating at contractor's cafeteria. Stop at Le Peep and eat half a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich and a salad.

Monday, 12:57 p.m.: Arrive at contractor facility just as meeting is resuming. Discover that it has taken them all morning to discuss one requirement. Listen to three people argue about two more requirements for next two hours. Sigh with relief when guy running meeting decides we should really be going over the 161 page document he sent out beforehand.

Monday, 4:17 p.m.: Up to page 7 of 161 page document. Ask the guy running the meeting how late he plans to go. Listen to 18 minute argument about one letter on one page.

Monday, 5:45 p.m.: Up to page 43 of 161 page document. Force others to review my two most significant comments. Leave the meeting. Drive to hotel.

Monday, 6:10 p.m.: Check into hotel. Call Mary Joan (who came in later, as she was not involved in today's meeting) to ask what she wants to do for dinner. Threaten to tell waitstaff it's her birthday.

Monday, 6:30 p.m.: Settle on dinner at Redfish. Drive to downtown Boulder. Find parking spot within reasonable distance. Eat grouper en papillote with grilled asparagus, steamed broccoli, spiced carrots, and rice with scallion oil. Contemplate fresh fruit for dessert but succumb to the lure of bread pudding. (By the way, Mary Joan had salad, jambalaya and creme brulee.) Drive back to hotel.

Monday, 9:10 p.m.: Flip through TV channels. Watch news about Colorado wildfires. Brush teeth.

Monday, 9:45 p.m.: Sleep.

Tuesday, 6:06 a.m.: Wake up.

Tuesday, 6:07 a.m.: Alarm clock goes off. Jump in shower. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Check baseball scores in newspaper. Be unable to determine fate of the universe as key game was rained out.

Tuesday, 7:00 a.m.: Drive to contractor plant. Go to office we use there and telnet into cinenet to check email. Chitchat with colleagues until time for meeting.

Tuesday, 8:30 a.m.: Drink coffee. Meet. Confer. Make comments. Meeting rapidly falls behind schedule but, unlike Monday's, is reasonably productive. Eat kiwi fruit during break. Remember how wonderful kiwi fruit is and decide to buy it more often. Meet more. Break for mediocre lunch (tunafish sandwich) at company cafeteria. More meeting and more meeting and more meeting. Evil lemon bars appear at afternoon break. Meeting continues.

Tuesday, 5:50 p.m.: Meeting ends for the day. Organize dinner outing to Rhumba. Carpool to downtown Boulder. Eat majorly wonderful food. Five people split two appetizers - blackened catfish eggrolls with mint-mango dipping sauce and steamed dumplings. Main course of seared ahi with pineapple-habanero salsa, curry rice, snow peas. Ginger creme brulee for dessert. Long wait for dessert (particularly the coffee ice cream with fried bananas and chocolate sauce that two people have ordered) leads to restaurant giving dessert course to us free.

Tuesday, 9:07 p.m.: Get ride back to contractor's facility to get car. Drive to hotel. Watch TV. Have feeling that it is a good day confirmed by seeing that the Red Sox have defeated the Source of All Evil in the Universe. Read. Brush teeth.

Tuesday, 10:45 p.m.: Sleep.

Wednesday, 6:07 a.m.: Alarm clock goes off. Contemplate snooze button, but get up. Shower. Get dressed. Pack. Eat breakfast. Read part of newspaper and save rest for airport.

Wednesday, 7:16 a.m.: Check out of hotel. Put backpack in trunk of car. Drive to contractor's facility. Check email.

Wednesday, 8:30 a.m.: Meeting time. Experience feeling of dread in response to seeing that evil coworker showed up today, having been (allegedly) too sick to travel on Monday. Play political game of being nice to him and asking if he feels better. Pay no attention to answer. Be grateful that person running meeting is firm and stops evil coworker from having us spend half an hour on every single typo and acronym change in the document. Drink too much coffee. Meet, meet, meet, review document, review, review, break, review, review, review.

Wednesday, 12:17 p.m.: Behind schedule so working lunch. Go to cafeteria. Buy overpriced quesadilla with black bean salad and bottle of cranberry juice. Back to meeting room. Work, work, work. At break time, extremely evil chocolate raspberry brownies appear. Debate canteloupe. Justify brownie on grounds that raspberries are fruit and chocolate is a vegetable and dinner will be United Airlines snack box for which most apt food group is plastic. Back to work, work, work. While meeting gets to part evil coworker is responsible for, try to do other work (outside of conference room). Gossip with Mary Joan who has found questionable bookmarks and very very questionable yahoo searches in netscape history file on computer in office we use at contractor facility. Discuss how to remind people about what is appropriate. Speculate over who is dumb enough to search for "sex" + "pictures" on work computer. Go back to meeting.

Wednesday, 4:20 p.m.: Leave meeting to go to airport. Decide best route for this time of day is Highway 52 to I-25 to 104th.

Wednesday, 5:24 p.m.: Arrive at rental car lot. Check in car. Wait too long for bus to terminal. Crowd onto bus. Get to airport. Successfully pick shortest line at security. Take train to departure terminal.

Wednesday, 5:47 p.m.: Discover that 6:58 p.m. flight is listed as leaving at 8:05 p.m.. Figure that, although 7:45 p.m. flight is claimed to be on time, it will inevitably slip. Choose not to put name on standby list for 7:45 p.m. flight. Confer with another colleague (Lori) who agrees with this decision. Get iced coffee while Lori gets frozen yogurt. Walk to gate for delayed 6:58 p.m. flight. Check in.

Wednesday, 6:52 p.m.: Find out that 6:58 p.m. flight is now listed as leaving at 8:45 p.m. or 9:00 p.m. depending on whether you believe the display at the gate or the departures board. Lori walks over to gate for 7:45 p.m. flight and puts her name on standby list. Standby list has 78 names on it. Decide not to bother, since odds of getting on are too slim.

Wednesday, 7:30 p.m.: Evil coworker shows up at gate for 7:45 p.m. flight, claims he called and is confirmed on it, gets into altercation with gate agent who threatens to call security. Evil coworker continues to rant and rave.

Wednesday, 7:33 p.m.: Evil coworker gets on 7:45 flight, in center seat in very last row. The wicked prosper.

Wednesday, 7:40 p.m.: At Lori's request, check departure board again for info on delayed 6:58 p.m. flight. Return and tell Lori, "We're screwed. It's canceled." Note that 10:09 p.m. flight had previously been canceled so 7:45 p.m. flight is last flight of the day from Denver to LAX.

Wednesday, 7:48 p.m.: Attempt to get on standby list for 7:45 p.m. flight. Standby list is closed. Lori's name is called. Gate agent continues to insist that the standby list is over 70 names long and only people who have gotten on are those with international connections. Don't bother to argue with gate agent. Get card with protection information for Thursday morning flight from gate agent.

Wednesday, 8:01 p.m.: 7:45 p.m. flight departs. Go to Customer Service. Stand in line long enough to hear that all United is doing is giving people meal vouchers. While United is claiming there are no hotel rooms available anywhere in Denver, overhear three people succeed in getting hotel rooms by calling on cell phones. Decide not to bother with Customer Service line. Eat bad fast food dinner.

Wednesday, 8:13 p.m.:Call travel agency emergency number in hopes of having them either get me a flight on another airline or find me a hotel room for the night. Recording says there is a high volume of calls and wait will be in excess of 7 minutes. Phone death begins.

Wednesday, 8:53 p.m.: Still on hold with travel agency emergency number. See a guy I know from our contractor walk by. He tells me he just got in on a plane that had been scheduled in at 1:45 p.m.. We discuss United's excuse (thunderstorms in mid-West, essentially closing Chicago) and the real reason (storm delays push service times to be longer, triggering the pilot action situation.) Try to remember how many weeks it has been that the United pilots have been refusing to work overtime. Chat with another colleague who just got in and is trying to find a connection to Colorado Springs. Point out that at least he can drive the 70 miles to the Springs if necessary.

Wednesday, 9:21 p.m. Still on hold with travel agency emergency number. Overhear woman at next phone telling someone that she will be very late getting to Orange County since she is on a plane that is delayed four hours so won't leave until 11:35 p.m. and will have to be diverted to LAX since the Orange County Airport has a curfew. Light bulb over head turns on, just like in the cartoons.

Wednesday, 9:22 p.m. Hang up phone. Double check departure board and verify existence of Orange County flight, listed as scheduled for 7:46 p.m., delayed to 11:35 p.m.. Call United Premier reservations number. Find out that wait list is closed for the Orange County flight but probably worth checking with gate.

Wednesday, 10:03 p.m. Purser for Orange County flight arrives at gate and is surrounded by passengers with questions. Find out that there are four people on standby list for flight. Decide odds are good as many people have probably been unable to get to Denver to make connections.

Wednesday, 10:25 p.m. Gate agent for Orange County flight arrives. Smile at gate agent. Explain situation and request being added to standby list. Gate agent says she is almost sure I will get on. Sit down and read more of novel. Get up and pace around. Alternate reading and pacing.

Wednesday, 10:54 p.m. Plane from Detroit that will turn into Orange County flight arrives. Because plane had a mechanical problem, in addition to weather delays, plane requires longer than normal safety checks. Pace.

Wednesday, 11:27 p.m. Plane begins boarding.

Wednesday, 11:36 p.m. Confirmed passengers all aboard. Gate agent calls upgrades and standby passengers. Receive boarding pass. Refrain from hugging gate agent. All passengers are generally being nice to crew since they are too tired to be belligerent and too relieved to be getting on a plane to risk being kicked off.

Wednesday, 11:40 p.m. Settle into window seat, with empty center seat. Try to nap.

Thursday, 12:10 a.m. Plane finally leaves. Nap. Read. Drink seltzer. Nap more. Read more.

Thursday, 2:17 a.m./1:17 a.m. Plane arrives at LAX. Change watch back to Pacific Daylight Time.

Thursday, 1:33 p.m. Step off jetway into terminal. After brief stop at lady's room, walk to off-airport lot to retrieve car since shuttle will run too infrequently at this hour and it is only 5 minute walk. Retrieve car. Pay for parking. Drive home, with brief stop at 7-11 to buy grapefruit juice.

Thursday, 2:11 p.m. Arrive home. Debate whether it is worth going to sleep. Opt to refer to it as a nap, not real sleep.

So, not surprisingly, I went into the office today only to go to a couple of all-hands meetings regarding the reorganization. The good news is I have an excuse now to blow off some tasks I don't want to do. The bad news is that the evil coworker is still in our group. There is also a potential open position I am likely to be interested in. It's still a wait and see situation as far as I'm concerned. I cleaned out some email and did a few other chores that didn't require being conscious. I also got to compare travel war stories with someone who'd had a similar problem the previous day. I left the office at about 1:45 p.m., stopped at the supermarket for a few necessities (two bottles of Arrowhead Mandarin Orange Flavored Sparkling Water, salad stuff, and litchi nuts), and took a nap almost as soon as I got home. I got up for dinner and to write this and to catch up on some other internet stuff, but it's back to bed early tonight.

You can imagine how much I am looking forward to traveling almost every week for the next six weeks.