Areas of Unrest

4 September 2000 - Happy Birthday to Me

QOTD: "I have the same goal I've had ever since I was a little girl. I want to rule the world." - Madonna

Reading: Keith Scott, The Moose That Roared

Listening to: Moxy Fruvous, Live Noise

So I made it to 42. And this journal to its fourth year, complete with (admittedly minor) redesign.

Usually, I enjoy my birthday. This year, though, I was in a bit of a malaise. There's nothing actually wrong but I didn't much feel like doing anything either. I more or less wasted the day between watching old Twilight Zone episodes (which I had taped around 1987 and never bothered watching) and reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which was entertaining but hardly brilliant. I finished unpacking but still need to finish laundry and catching up on household paperwork and organizing photos and answering umpty ump emails.

I also had a call from Elliot, who mostly wanted to play various songs for me (primarily novelty stuff). He was in a better mood than he had any right to be given the recent death of his cat. Big Boy just needed some dental work done and had a bad reaction to the anesthetic. So it was quite a shock. Unlike the (also recent) death of my mother's cat, who was rather aged. I'd normally say that I should acquire a couple of cats to keep up the law of conservation of felines, but given how rarely I'm here, it just isn't feasible.

Anyway, my malaise had two sources. First was the usual "I should spend my time better" feeling, but I could write that off to the vestiges of jet lag. The bigger problem was that I was feeling a bit ignored. I wanted the world to be singing my praises about my travelogue, for example, but I got just a trickle of email. Never mind actually giving people time to read the bloody tone; they should drop everything else to find out what I was up to. I wanted lots more birthday greetings, instead of just Elliot's call and John's email. I'm sure there's a good reason for Robert's silence, but that's the intellectual reaction, not the emotional one.

I'll be fine in a day or two. I know full well that if I feel lonely, moping around my living room isn't about to help. Doing almost anything will lift me up in no time at all.