Areas of Unrest

QOTD: "Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can." - Elsa Maxwell

Reading: a few books of short stories

Listening to: Si Kahn, I'll Be There

Decluttering accomplishments: cleared a lot of papers off the dining room table

14 May 2002 - Phantom Lover Syndrome

Not much actual news today. I had one meeting this morning, worked on reviewing a few documents, followed up on a couple of things I'd found out last week, etc.. I straightened out the situation with the storage, which was more or less what I expected. Namely, they hadn't actually waived the late fee (which they should have as they'd made no attempt to contact me in a timely manner when they failed to update the credit card expiration date) and had applied the insurance payment to that instead of the insurance. I figured it was easier to pay the fee and avoid the hassle, but I'm still irritated. I also had to straighten out some travel plans. The travel agency had put me in a hotel that is way far away from where I am going and when I told them to try again, managed to find one even further away. In the end, I got a reservation at a place that is nicely central, within the per diem even. Then I came home, did a little housework, had dinner and watched TV. I'm always slightly embarrassed to admit how addicted I am to Buffy. And Smallville was also good tonight, albeit a bit syrupy at the end.

I also finished reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods which is every bit as good as his other novels. I do admit that I didn't quite get who every single god was. I know enough Russian to know that Czernobog is "dark god" and Bielobog is "white god" but I don't know their significance, for example. I'm fairly up on the Norse and Greek gods and I picked up on Anansi very quickly. I can't help wondering how much goes past people who aren't interested in folklore. Still, with such perfect sentences as "Chicago happened slowly, like a migraine," I have to recommend the book to the world at large. Gaiman also has a wonderful explanation of places like the House on the Rock.

On a different subject, I was lying in bed last night, thinking about phantom limbs and phantom lovers. Phantom limb syndrome is something amputees experience, when they can still feel pain where the amputated limb used to be. I go weeks, even months, without seeing Robert, but I can still feel the space in my bed where he belongs. I can lie in bed, hugging my teddy bear and instead of plush fake fur, my sense memory conjures up warm and rough skin, the thick mat of his chest hair, the silky texture of, um, other parts of his body. I remember walking down the street with him and the electricity between us. If I really concentrate, I can even conjure up his unique scent, the warmth of his breath against my neck, the rhythms of his breathing.

I'm not really big on the whole "soulmate" concept. But sometimes I can sense Robert from thousands of miles away. The phantom doesn't really fill that Robert-shaped hole in my life, but it's still a pleasant entity.