Areas of Unrest

QOTD: "Men should stop fighting among themselves and start fighting insects." - Luther Burbank

Reading: Carl Hiaasen, et. al., Naked Came the Manatee

Listening to: nothing

Decluttering accomplishments: Sorted out more books to get rid of. Of course, it's something like 20 down, 2000 to go, but it's still an accomplishment.

27 July 2003 - The Corpseflower Chornicles

I'm still more or less in down time, which is good in that it gives me a chance to get caught up on odds and ends at home. I suspect, though, that transferring things from the kitchen counter to a box in the living room is not a viable long term solution. Seriously, I am making some progress, but I still feel overwhelmed by owning too many things. This is leading me towards planning another sabbatical in two to three years. In the meantime, though, I have vacation plans for the next year already. I booked a trip to Vietnam for later this year and I'll be going to Greece and Bulgaria (and maybe Albania, too) next summer. The flights to Vietnam are going to be way tedious, but I had so many frequent flyer miles that doing it business class made sense and will make my life far more pleasant.

On Thursday I noticed a news story about a certain rare plant blooming at the Botanic Garden Conservatory on the National Mall and made the mistake of mentioning it to my colleagues. "Oooh, the corpseflower is blooming," I said, innocently. "I should go down and see it."

But, when I left the office, it was gorgeous out and the idea of standing in line to see a flower was far less appealing than the idea of going home and getting out for a walk on a weekday. So, on Friday afternoon, there was the following conversation:

Alex: So, Doctor Evil., how was the flower?
Me: I didn't go. It was too nice out when I left, so I went home and took a walk.
Alex: You should go and see the flower today.
Me: I'm not sure I want to see the flower. A five foot tall flower that smells of rotting flesh sounds scary.
Alex: Go see the flower.
Me: You go see the flower.
Alex: I can't go see the flower with two small primates clinging to me.
Me: So because I don't have children, I have to go see the scary stinky flower?
Alex: The flower isn't going to hurt you.
Me: Don't you think a five foot tall flower that smells of rotting flesh is scary?
Brady: They can be dangerous. One of those flowers overwhelmed all of Springfield on The Simpsons.
Kurt: You watch The Simpsons?
Me: Everyone watches The Simpsons. That's why I'm scared of the flower.

(Brady left at this point, proving that he's the smart one. Well, also, he had an appointment.)

Alex: If you leave now, you can hop on the metro and be at the flower in 15 minutes.

(Discussion followed amongst us regarding which is the closest metro stop. Also, some discussion of whether or not the conservatory is made of aluminum, which included some commentary on why the British say "aluminium" instead, the highlight of which was Alex pointing out that we don't have "titanum" and "berrylum.")

Alex: Come on, I'll drive you to see the flower.
Me: Er, I'll just take the metro.
Alex: If you take the metro, you'll go home. Come on, I'll drive you.

So, there was no choice. Whether or not I wanted to, I was going to go see the giant scary stinky flower. Alex decided to play tour guide on the way, which actually gave me some ideas for some nice after work walks. Eventually, he dropped me off at the conservatory and said that if I wasn't in on Monday, he'd know the flower had eaten me. It was easy enough to find the flower, since there was a crowd gathered around it.

Officially, it's a titan arum. Had I thought about it, I would have realized that it wasn't going to be all that scary, since the name basically means "overgrown lily." I think they overstated the size and it wasn't more than four and a half feet tall. I'd also missed its peak, apparently, and there was nothing to smell. All in all, the corpseflower was a letdown. Bizarre and huge, yes, but that's about it. I did take advantage of being there to walk around the rest of the conservatory, the nicest part of which is the orchid room.

I still plan to claim that the flower tried to grab me, but I escaped in time. Can't have my colleagues being too disappointed, after all.