QOTD: "The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb." - Russell Baker
Reading: Vikram Seth, Beastly Tales From Here and There
Listening to: the World Series
Decluttering accomplishments: sold another 53 used books
First, a serious note. Has anybody else found it frightening to read about Lt Gen William G. "Jerry Boykin", the deputy undersecretary of defense for intelligence? Aside from his extremeley offensive characterization of Islam as demonic, this guy has been going around saying that Bush wasn't elected but was appointed by G-d. Well, I have to agree with the first half of that statement, but the notion of divine right of Presidents is both absurd and scary. And, for those who'd claim that these were remarks made at appearances before church groups and not "official" positions, at the very least, public statments like these reflect bad judgement.
Anyway, this week has been dominated by puns and by baseball. Tuesday night was the liar's contest put on by Washington Storytellers Theatre. I had the dubious fortune to go first and told "Uncle Morrie and the Were-Mink," which includes a suicide blonde (she dyed by her own hand), a bush pilot named Dubya (a pun which came to me as I was on my way over to the contest), the Eskimo aphorism that "you can't have your kayak and heat it too," an incident of "the blonde leading the blind," and the conclusion that "you may think you see eyeglass stores in southwest Alaska, but they're only optical Aleutians." You see, this is why I hang out with storytellers. Any normal person would refuse to put up with this.
On top of that I went to Bill Lepp's workshop on puns today. He had a few interesting exercises for coming up with them. But I have to admit that I find it hard to be that deliberate with them. Mostly puns just come to me. Or I've heard a pun somewhere and then build a story around it.
My other obsession this week was, of course, the Red Sox, as they played an excessively exciting series against the Source of All Evil in the Universe. That meant lots of sleep deprivation for me. Tuesday night, I even taped the game and watched it when I got home. Thursday night found me screaming at the TV. What was Grady Little thinking to leave Pedro in? If there's any time to be conservative about pitching, it's a critical game like that. I think the Marlins are a pretty boring team, but at the moment they're my second favorite, since they occupy that special slot reserved for whoever's playing the Yankees.
Which brings me to the story about a guy I knew who played the bass for the Boston Symphony Orchestra. Now, the bass is the sort of instrument that often has long stretches without anything to do, and one of those stretches is in the middle of Beethoven's 9th. One year, Seiji Ozawa had chosen to make this piece one of the mainstays of the symphony repertoire, and the bass players had discovered that they could slip out and go across the street to a local sports bar, have a few beers, catch part of the Red Sox game, and get back in time for the bit at the very end of the symphony, where they actually had something to play. In October, there was a major concert - and a major baseball game. They worried about making it back in time, but figured out that they could tie a string from the conductor's score to a bell at the bar, signaling them to return. Unfortunately, they got so caught up in the ball game that they had a few too many beers and didn't pay attention to the bell. When they did get back, Seiji was furious. And they had to admit he was right to be angry. After all, it was the bottom of 9th, the score was tied, and the basses were loaded.
In cyberspace, nobody can hear you groan.
Finally, my exciting news is that a picture I took in New Guinea is going to be on the cover of a children's book! A photo researcher contacted me after seeing a photo on my web page. That particular one was taken in low resolution on the digital camera, but I sent her another one I'd taken on film and they're using it. And, yes, I'm getting paid.
Copyright 2003 Miriam H. Nadel