Areas of Unrest

25 December 2005 - On Gifts

First, a brief apology. I wrote yesterday's entry fairly late at night and just never got around to uploading it. It's there now.

Getting a lot of sleep and doing pretty much nothing seems to have been effective at getting me over my cold. Of course, it also means my apartment is still a mess, but I do have tomorrow to try to get caught up on some housework. It also means I haven't done anything worth writing about.

So, a few brief words on the subject of gifts. I'm firmly a believer in it being better to give than receive. Not that I haven't gotten things I've liked over the years. People mostly buy me books and often find ones I'm likely to enjoy. I have also sometimes gotten gifts that made me wonder why the giver thought they were something I'd like, but I accept those as sort of generic items.

I do, however, find a great deal of pleasure in finding just the right thing to give somebody. Often, that means not really having an occassion for it. For example, I saw some wine glasses with engraved dolphins at a crafts fair and knew that my friend, Marcia, who is a wine drinker and dolphin lover would like them. I've even gotten things for people who I wouldn't ordinarily think of buying a gift for, typically under that sort of circumstance (crafts fair, unusual item).

The greater challenge is the semi-obligatory gift. I deal with my mother's two events a year (her birthday, Mother's Day) with either books I know she would like or theatre tickets. It's way too risky to get her anything else, because she has no qualms about seeming ungracious. If somebody gives me something I don't like, I thank them and save it for regifting. Mom complains.

The biggest issue I run into is what to do about shopping on my travels. I used to feel obliged to buy things for my mother and brother wherever I went. But Mom is ungracious and it's hard to figure out what Elliot would possibly like. (I often end up getting him magnets from events, because they're something he collects. Or, at least, that I think he collects.) It annoys me that my family is bad about getting gifts, because I don't really want to do all that much shopping for myself, but I do enjoy going to local markets. When I'm lucky, I find things that I think friends would like. At least they say "thank you."